Week 31

I am soooooooo over work. At this point, I really just want to spend my days preparing the nursery, preparing her diapers, organizing baby clothes and of course, sleeping. I don't care about work, don't want to care about work, couldn't give a damn about it. Its like no matter what I'm doing during the day, my brain returns to "Baby, Baby, Baby" its so funny how a woman's brain works. I used to be such an intelligent, career driven person, now, all I want to do is look at baby clothes all day.

I'm back to being tired all of the time. Which is why I guess work is so unimportant right now. All I want to do is sleep. I don't want to walk, I get very tired so easily. Poor Paul drops me off right in front of the door of wherever we are going then has to find parking and walk back. Hope he forgives me. My day is not complete unless I take at least a two hour nap. I do however continue to wake up at odd times in the middle of the night starving or about ready to pee on myself. Usually, I'm up in the 3 to 4 hour. Today, however, its barely 3 and already I'm munching down on a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

So, Bumble has finally flipped! No more hanging out sideways digging her little fingers into my bladder. Now, her head does all of the bladder smashing. Its so weird because I actually felt her going through the motions of flipping. She didn't do it all at once the way I thought. It was a process that lasted a couple of days, which was why I was feeling her stick out the way she was. So, technically, 9 weeks to go. But, if my prayers are answered and my body likes the full moon as much as I hope it does, 7 weeks to go. I am soooooo ready.



Me at 30 weeks (click to see it, the picture post thing is being weird)

Tonight

I'm lying in bed and of course am starving and have to pee. I begin to get out of bed but feel this strange feeling in my belly. I placed my hands over the strange feeling and there is a huge, hard lump on my right side. I know this is Bumble so, I rub her, ell her how much I love her, how much I can't wait to see her and she moves, really quickly, while I'm holding her. This AMAZES me! I've felt her before by pressing into my belly but now, she's big enough to stick out on her own. She moved until my belly was flat and kicked a few times in response to my bothering her then, she stuck herself out again. I guess I scared her for a bit. I laid on my back for a bit and watched my belly change shape as she moved around for a bit. She is SOOOO alive! She is SOOOO real. She is SOOOO HERE!

Week 28

Lunar month 7, Gregorian month 6 and I am so tired of being pregnant. It isn't as hard as it was in the beginning. I'm used to the heaviness in my belly and my big boobs. I'm used to the aches and pains and swollen body parts. I'm not even as sleepy as I used to be. But, this takes soooooo long. Originally, I wanted three children but, jeez, I feel as though I've been pregnant for an entire year already. How can I do this twice more? I LOVE Bumble, I mean like beyond love her. I read to her and sing to her and giggle when she kicks me or kicks in response (in my head) to something I've said but, I'm really just ready to actually hold her and see her and most importantly not be pregnant anymore. 12 weeks (3 WHOLE months to go).

It's 3:58 am

and I am sooooooo hungry. I'm not going to eat because I find the most horrible things to eat at this time of night. I've been sick for the last few days and though I was supposed to clean my house yesterday (I've been cleaning out closets so, though the closets are clean, the rest of my house looks horrible) I managed to blow my nose, lay around, cough, eat and take naps. On the one hand, I'm feeling better. On the other, my house still looks horrible.

Bumble scared me greatly ove the weekend. Well actually, starting Thursday. Usually, she is all over the place, kicking, jumping, twisiting, having a really good time in there doing whatever she does. The past few days, I didn't feel her very much if at all. I assumed it was because I was sick and even though she herself may have not been sick, she was just laying low or maybe less energized because I was not feeling well. I noticed this on Thursday and definitely on Friday. On Saturday morning, I became increasingly upset so, I drank a large cup of very cold orange juice and laid on my left side for an hour. When not feeling a baby move for a while, drinking something cold and sugary usually gets them moving. Laying down on your left side, which allows maximum blood and oxygen to the placenta and which makes it easier for a mom to feel her in utero baby is supposed to do the trick. During this time, you should feel 10 movements. During that time, I only get 2 movements. This of course freaks me out more so, I call my doctor. He isn't on call so, I leave a message with his replacement. His replacement takes too long to call me back so, I call the midwife service that is available through my insurance company. I get a really sweet very southern sounding midwife who tells me it is best to go the hospital. So, off to the hospital I go.

I go to the hospital closest to me. Register. Sit. And WAIT. In the beginning, the hospital staff is a bit rude to me. The ask what clinic I go to. The ask about my PCAP (free city insurance), they ask very stupid questions. Once I let them know that I am not from a clinic, nor do I have PCAP, that I have a private doctor who wasn't on call, whose replacement wasn't as quick as I would like him to be and who came to the hospital after speaking with a midwife, they all of a sudden get much nicer. Oh, where do you work hon? F You lady, ten minutes ago you were treating me like crap now I'm hon?

Anyway, they monitored Bumble for twenty minutes where I had to hold this flat hard doppler against my lower belly the entire time. They give me another thing, like an old tv remote that I have to push every time I feel movement. If I didn't feel her move during that time, there was a possibility that she would have to be born. Very scary stuff. So, I'm holding this thing, my arms are aching and her heartbeat is going strong. I get a kick, I push. A few minutes later, I get movement, I push. I get one more something and again I push. This starts to scare me because I know I should be feeling more movement. Regularly she's all over the place. So, this nurse comes, looks at the reading so far, leaves. Other people come, like one after another and this scares the crap out of me. I call Bumble by her name and tell her, Baby, you have to move, its too soon for you to come. I'm not sure what you're doing in there but move Baby. I get one more kick, I push. The midwife comes back in, she says, very good, only 5 more minutes to go Mommy! Then a doctor comes in, reads the reading smiles at me, asks if I have other children and this freaks me out. Why is she asking if I have other children? Will I have to take comfort in my other children because Bumble's not going to make it? my heart is pounding, I'm scared and I get kick, kick, kick, squirm, toss, kick. I push, push, push, push, push, push, push. The kid hasn't stopped kicking or moving since.