It's 3:58 am

and I am sooooooo hungry. I'm not going to eat because I find the most horrible things to eat at this time of night. I've been sick for the last few days and though I was supposed to clean my house yesterday (I've been cleaning out closets so, though the closets are clean, the rest of my house looks horrible) I managed to blow my nose, lay around, cough, eat and take naps. On the one hand, I'm feeling better. On the other, my house still looks horrible.

Bumble scared me greatly ove the weekend. Well actually, starting Thursday. Usually, she is all over the place, kicking, jumping, twisiting, having a really good time in there doing whatever she does. The past few days, I didn't feel her very much if at all. I assumed it was because I was sick and even though she herself may have not been sick, she was just laying low or maybe less energized because I was not feeling well. I noticed this on Thursday and definitely on Friday. On Saturday morning, I became increasingly upset so, I drank a large cup of very cold orange juice and laid on my left side for an hour. When not feeling a baby move for a while, drinking something cold and sugary usually gets them moving. Laying down on your left side, which allows maximum blood and oxygen to the placenta and which makes it easier for a mom to feel her in utero baby is supposed to do the trick. During this time, you should feel 10 movements. During that time, I only get 2 movements. This of course freaks me out more so, I call my doctor. He isn't on call so, I leave a message with his replacement. His replacement takes too long to call me back so, I call the midwife service that is available through my insurance company. I get a really sweet very southern sounding midwife who tells me it is best to go the hospital. So, off to the hospital I go.

I go to the hospital closest to me. Register. Sit. And WAIT. In the beginning, the hospital staff is a bit rude to me. The ask what clinic I go to. The ask about my PCAP (free city insurance), they ask very stupid questions. Once I let them know that I am not from a clinic, nor do I have PCAP, that I have a private doctor who wasn't on call, whose replacement wasn't as quick as I would like him to be and who came to the hospital after speaking with a midwife, they all of a sudden get much nicer. Oh, where do you work hon? F You lady, ten minutes ago you were treating me like crap now I'm hon?

Anyway, they monitored Bumble for twenty minutes where I had to hold this flat hard doppler against my lower belly the entire time. They give me another thing, like an old tv remote that I have to push every time I feel movement. If I didn't feel her move during that time, there was a possibility that she would have to be born. Very scary stuff. So, I'm holding this thing, my arms are aching and her heartbeat is going strong. I get a kick, I push. A few minutes later, I get movement, I push. I get one more something and again I push. This starts to scare me because I know I should be feeling more movement. Regularly she's all over the place. So, this nurse comes, looks at the reading so far, leaves. Other people come, like one after another and this scares the crap out of me. I call Bumble by her name and tell her, Baby, you have to move, its too soon for you to come. I'm not sure what you're doing in there but move Baby. I get one more kick, I push. The midwife comes back in, she says, very good, only 5 more minutes to go Mommy! Then a doctor comes in, reads the reading smiles at me, asks if I have other children and this freaks me out. Why is she asking if I have other children? Will I have to take comfort in my other children because Bumble's not going to make it? my heart is pounding, I'm scared and I get kick, kick, kick, squirm, toss, kick. I push, push, push, push, push, push, push. The kid hasn't stopped kicking or moving since.