Monday the 15th of December, I was in my office going over some last minute things. My last day was going to be the 19th of December and I wanted to make sure everything was in order. I felt three very sharp and close together contractions, then nothing. My assistant kept telling me I was in labor but, I kept telling her I wasn't, everything was fine.
Tuesday morning, I woke up with the heaviest feeling in my lower belly, like I've NEVER felt this before. I get up to use the bathroom, waddled over to the toilet, pee, stood up and had the urge to go again. I began dripping, sat to pee again but, nothing. I got up to go back to bed and dripped all the way there. I automatically thought my water had broken but, I noticed while in the restroom, I was also passing lots of mucus so, I assumed my mucus plug broke. I laid down to go to sleep and SWORE I felt warm liquid coming out of me but, then again, maybe I didn't. In addition, I beginning to feel the very beginning of menstrual like cramps but, nothing serious. I just assume Bumble is moving her way down like everyone says she is supposed to. I keep feeling this warmth so, I get up to go online and research: urine vs. amniotic fluid, I have no clear answer. Pregnant women pee a lot, amniotic fluid smells sweet, blah, blah, blah.
I call Paul and let him know my back hurts, I'm not feeling well, I think I'm staying home from work, he's on his way. I call my doctor and explain to him whats going on, he says amniotic fluid would be clear and watery, since I'm describing something watery and mucusy, its probably just my mucus plug. He says to call if it gets worse if not, he'll see me at my regular appointment which is the next day. I decide to stay home from work. The rest of the day, my back hurts a little, I have slight cramps, and big globs of stuff come out of me. Other than being ridiculously sleepy, nothing seems too much out of the ordinary. I lay in bed and sleep, Paul rubs my back and makes sure I'm okay. Nothing major goes on for the rest of the day but a general feeling of sleepiness, heaviness and I drip every so often.
Wednesday morning I go to the doctor, I'm still dripping this mucus-y watery stuff. When I get up to go to the exam room, I gush water, I KNOW somethings up. The doctor examines me and says, "we're having a baby today, you broke your water I'm sending you to the hospital". "Right now?" I answer, "Yes" he says. "You mean like NOW?" I ask, I'm just so shocked. "Yes, he answers, "now. I call Paul, my mommy, my office, let everyone know I'm going to the hospital.
I get to the hospital and sign in. My doctor gave me a note, I fill out paper work, they take me into an examination room, Paul gets there like 15 minutes later, so quick, I was really surprised. I'm not dilated AT ALL, so, they decide to start me on Cervadil. Already, I don't like where this is headed and start complaining to Paul that I'm going to end up getting a C-Section. He tells me not to worry and off we go. We go to the pre-labor room where they insert the cervadil, my mom arrives. After about three hours, they move me to the delivery room and we all sit there chatting, laughing, nothing is happening, I dilate 1 centimeter in about 4 hours. All during the time we are there, the on call doctor keeps coming in and keeps calling my doctor. Apparently I'm having crazy contractions but, I don't really feel them. They keep looking at the monitors, asking me if I'm comfortable but I feel fine.
About 10 that evening, after only dilating to one centimeter, I hear the dreaded PITOCIN and I cringe. This is all overwhelming for me because my original plan was to have a serene home birth with John Coltrane, Erykah Badu and Nina Simone ushering our child into the world and everything I wanted is going straight out the window. But, I know I'm not dilating, I'm leaking fluid and this baby needs to come out so.... we go ahead and start it.
My mom has to leave, they only allow Paul to stay with me. I decide to try and get some sleep because I know it won't be possible later. I sleep for a while, maybe until about 3 in the morning, between people poking me and bothering me when the contractions get really bad. I'm hooked up to monitors but, I get out of the bed and try to labor squatting, walking around, just doing what I think my body wants. This causes a HUGE uproar, two nurses and the on call doctor come in and URGE me to get back in bed. They "threaten" to call my doctor and go on and on about the safety of the baby. I admittedly get very angry and start telling them to book my operating room now because there's no way I feel I can progress and labor properly if I'm laying in bed. I instantly become "that chick" and start telling them about the thousands of years of women who have labored and birthed without monitors. I reluctantly and loudly get back into bed. Paul, tries to persuade them to allow me to labor out of the bed. They call my doctor who lets them know its okay. I get out of bed for a bit but, the staff is looking at me like I'm going to jump out of the window or flip cart wheels so I again reluctantly and loudly get back in bed to labor the way they want me to. I remind them loudly that I'm going to need a c-section in a few hours. I yell something to the effect of, "Let's stop wasting our time here people, cut me open now."
I'm back in bed, angry, tired. The contractions begin to get worse. Paul is great, I think he only slept two minutes since the night before but he's up right there rubbing my back, holding me, helping me through the contractions but it becomes too much. I ask for an epidural, Paul runs out to get the epidural guy, he comes in, pushes this horrible needle in my back (I thought I was going to be paralyzed) but, I get the drugs which is the absolute best thing in the world. I get to rest, and sleep for hours. Poor Paul didn't sleep any, every time I opened my eyes he was looking at me or the monitors. About 8 in the morning, I'm checked and I'm dilated to all of 2.5 centimeters. My doctor comes in, examines me, knows how much I want to labor my way, knows my original plan of a natural, low intervention birth and gives me another couple of hours but tells me if I don't progress, we'll have to do "it". I've accepted my fate so, I go to sleep again.
I wake up, my doctor, who is wonderful looks at me and says, "you're ready kid?" (He's been my Dr. since I was 19), my mom and brother are there, the anesthesia team comes in, prep me, they were absolutely great and off we go to the OR.
I opted to be up during the operation. I'm a fat mama so, I think there was concern about the amount of drugs I should be given. At first, I feel pressure but not much pain. They're cutting and its weird to think our baby is coming now. After all of this time I get to see her and talk to her and hold her. Its overwhelming and scary at the same time. We hear her cry and I'm happy, I cry and try to sit up to see her, they bring her over to me and I see this little tiny scrunched up face, bright, chinky eyed baby. I kiss her and they take her away. Then, I feel pain, it feels like someone is yanking my belly button off, but from the inside, not a good feeling. I begin crying or screaming or making some kind of noise, I can't remember but I know I begin talking out loud to myself, I'm telling myself to relax, I begin singing and humming, what song, I have no idea. Paul is so calming,holding my hand but I look at him and he looks terrified, I know that I'm scaring him by singing, humming and talking to myself. I see the baby leave the room with a nurse, I ask him to go with the baby. He doesn't want to go, he says no. I feel bad now about asking him to leave knowing that he was so concerned about me but I was more concerned about the baby. I didn't want her to think she was alone in the world especially after months of telling her we loved her and wanted her. I wanted one of us at least to be with her and to not be surrounded by strangers.
Seeing that I was in pain, the anesthesiologist tries to put me to sleep but I don't want to go to sleep so, he gives me just enough drugs to make me loopy. The rest was over rather quickly or, I was given more drugs to believe it was over quickly but, my team was awesome. At the end when I was going to recovery, my doctor kissed my forehead and told me how great I'd done.
So, though things didn't go as I'd planned (we all know what is said about plans anyway), I'm happier than happy. Being pregnant in itself was such a great experience but to see what my body can do, to create and grow this perfect little person, I am in awe and grateful beyond belief.
Harmony = A perfect blend - Greek
Nayeli = I love you - Native American/Xotocan
Abeni = We asked for her and thank God, we got her - Yoruba
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