First Pics and Scary Stuff

Baby scared the junk out of me today. So, I had my first appointment with my midwife this morning. She's right in the neighborhood, not very far from my job. So, afterwards, I decide to take a nice walk back to my office, its a beautiful day and I'm feeling really well. I take a slow walk back, get to my office, have a yogurt, check my email, then decide to go to the bathroom before I start my "real" work. I get to the bathroom and I'm bleeding. Its thick and icky and I feel like I'm going to cry. I get up and walk back to my office, I know for sure I'm losing this baby and I'm terrified. I call Paul, let him know what's happening and we decide we should go to the hospital. I catch a cab to the hospital, he gets there like five minutes later and I'm more scared than scared. I'm terrified. My blood pressure is high, my heart is beating fast, my hands are shaking. We go back to the emergency room area a woman comes and takes my blood, they try to get me to pee but, I'm terrified so nothing is happening. We wit there, and sit there, and site there. We call my midwife who gives me the "50% of women miscarry, 50% of women go on to havve successful pregnancies speech" (who wants to hear that shit?). We call my OB who tells me to come in. We get to my OB's office and right away, I feel calmer. My heart slows down, we get an ultrasound and internal exam and everything seems okay. Here is our first picture of baby, at 5 weeks, just a little sac.


Perfectly shaped gestational sac.

"This looks like a good pregnancy" says Dr. Ahmadi.

WOW! I'm Pregnant!!

Positive pregnancy test this morning. First cycle trying. WOW! I'm almost in shock.

I'm impatient

So, this morning I wake up bright and early because I've decided I'm going to go to the drug store to get a pregnancy test before going to work. I had it all planned out. Wake up, walk up to Rite Aid on Broadway, go across the street, catch the bus to work. Seems simple enough, right? NO. I wake up, walk to Rite Aid and there aren't ANY pregnancy tests in the entire store! I've never heard of anything like this in my life. When I asked the woman behind the counter if the pregnancy tests were back there, first, she looked at me like I was crazy. Then, she looked at my belly then she goes, "no, we ain't got none". Okay, I'm sooooo mad but, I REFUSE to go to work without a test so, I catch a cab to Ridgewood, go to the Duane Reade there, where there is a SELECTION of pregnancy tests. I choose three boxes of two, because I'm crazy like that and catch a cab to work.

And, because I'm crazy and couldn't wait until I got home, I took the test at work. I got a very faint positive. I had to go online and check out what a faint positive meant. So, no matter how faint, a positive is a positive. I called my mom and one of my sister/friends. We were all happy and giggly.

December Baby?

Mmmmmm, too excited to not get this out.

Baby? Maybe?

Bloated
Gassy
Crampy
Soooooo Hungry
Dizzy
Ridiculous amounts of energy
Really happy
Was told I was glowing
Lower back pain
Sooooooo Hungry
Craving

So, I've decided to post on the real

This is too important a time in my life to write as part of a circle. I want to write, what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, my experiences during this time. This may be boring, as I've discovered like many of you, that my life is pretty dull. But, beginning this new step, being one of the most important things I will ever do in my life, I don't want to cloud it with compilations or retellings. I'm not sure where this will go. I guess along the lines of AuNapturale, but about life. Here goes:

We've decided to have a baby. We've been talking about it for a while but actually decided to go ahead. I'm ovulating next week so, maybe we'll try this cycle. According to everything I've read, it may take us a while to actually get pregnant. We're bothe 30 so, there is like a 20 percent chance of getting pregnant during each cycle. We may at this for a while. So, here we go, cycle 1 began March 26th, I am on day 6.