Tonight

I'm lying in bed and of course am starving and have to pee. I begin to get out of bed but feel this strange feeling in my belly. I placed my hands over the strange feeling and there is a huge, hard lump on my right side. I know this is Bumble so, I rub her, ell her how much I love her, how much I can't wait to see her and she moves, really quickly, while I'm holding her. This AMAZES me! I've felt her before by pressing into my belly but now, she's big enough to stick out on her own. She moved until my belly was flat and kicked a few times in response to my bothering her then, she stuck herself out again. I guess I scared her for a bit. I laid on my back for a bit and watched my belly change shape as she moved around for a bit. She is SOOOO alive! She is SOOOO real. She is SOOOO HERE!

Week 28

Lunar month 7, Gregorian month 6 and I am so tired of being pregnant. It isn't as hard as it was in the beginning. I'm used to the heaviness in my belly and my big boobs. I'm used to the aches and pains and swollen body parts. I'm not even as sleepy as I used to be. But, this takes soooooo long. Originally, I wanted three children but, jeez, I feel as though I've been pregnant for an entire year already. How can I do this twice more? I LOVE Bumble, I mean like beyond love her. I read to her and sing to her and giggle when she kicks me or kicks in response (in my head) to something I've said but, I'm really just ready to actually hold her and see her and most importantly not be pregnant anymore. 12 weeks (3 WHOLE months to go).

It's 3:58 am

and I am sooooooo hungry. I'm not going to eat because I find the most horrible things to eat at this time of night. I've been sick for the last few days and though I was supposed to clean my house yesterday (I've been cleaning out closets so, though the closets are clean, the rest of my house looks horrible) I managed to blow my nose, lay around, cough, eat and take naps. On the one hand, I'm feeling better. On the other, my house still looks horrible.

Bumble scared me greatly ove the weekend. Well actually, starting Thursday. Usually, she is all over the place, kicking, jumping, twisiting, having a really good time in there doing whatever she does. The past few days, I didn't feel her very much if at all. I assumed it was because I was sick and even though she herself may have not been sick, she was just laying low or maybe less energized because I was not feeling well. I noticed this on Thursday and definitely on Friday. On Saturday morning, I became increasingly upset so, I drank a large cup of very cold orange juice and laid on my left side for an hour. When not feeling a baby move for a while, drinking something cold and sugary usually gets them moving. Laying down on your left side, which allows maximum blood and oxygen to the placenta and which makes it easier for a mom to feel her in utero baby is supposed to do the trick. During this time, you should feel 10 movements. During that time, I only get 2 movements. This of course freaks me out more so, I call my doctor. He isn't on call so, I leave a message with his replacement. His replacement takes too long to call me back so, I call the midwife service that is available through my insurance company. I get a really sweet very southern sounding midwife who tells me it is best to go the hospital. So, off to the hospital I go.

I go to the hospital closest to me. Register. Sit. And WAIT. In the beginning, the hospital staff is a bit rude to me. The ask what clinic I go to. The ask about my PCAP (free city insurance), they ask very stupid questions. Once I let them know that I am not from a clinic, nor do I have PCAP, that I have a private doctor who wasn't on call, whose replacement wasn't as quick as I would like him to be and who came to the hospital after speaking with a midwife, they all of a sudden get much nicer. Oh, where do you work hon? F You lady, ten minutes ago you were treating me like crap now I'm hon?

Anyway, they monitored Bumble for twenty minutes where I had to hold this flat hard doppler against my lower belly the entire time. They give me another thing, like an old tv remote that I have to push every time I feel movement. If I didn't feel her move during that time, there was a possibility that she would have to be born. Very scary stuff. So, I'm holding this thing, my arms are aching and her heartbeat is going strong. I get a kick, I push. A few minutes later, I get movement, I push. I get one more something and again I push. This starts to scare me because I know I should be feeling more movement. Regularly she's all over the place. So, this nurse comes, looks at the reading so far, leaves. Other people come, like one after another and this scares the crap out of me. I call Bumble by her name and tell her, Baby, you have to move, its too soon for you to come. I'm not sure what you're doing in there but move Baby. I get one more kick, I push. The midwife comes back in, she says, very good, only 5 more minutes to go Mommy! Then a doctor comes in, reads the reading smiles at me, asks if I have other children and this freaks me out. Why is she asking if I have other children? Will I have to take comfort in my other children because Bumble's not going to make it? my heart is pounding, I'm scared and I get kick, kick, kick, squirm, toss, kick. I push, push, push, push, push, push, push. The kid hasn't stopped kicking or moving since.

13 Weeks to Go!

And they can not come soon enough. I feel like I've been pregnant FOREVER! I think the novelty of being pregnant has worn off and now, I just want our baby.

Things I LOVE about being pregnant:

Kicks and movement. This is by far the greatest feeling in the world, if she's not kicking me in the bladder. To feel a baby inside of you has to be one of the greatest sensations I have ever felt in my life. I can be in a horrible meeting bored out of my mind, she moves and I am so happy because I know she is okay, she is full of life and she is here!

Knowing that I am able to create a healthy baby. It is miraculous to know what the body is capable of. I am delighted to know that I am able to do what I am supposed to do. It makes me grateful for every day that she grows, every movement that she makes knowing that my body has been essential in her development.

The food. I eat food I would have NEVER thought about if I weren't pregnant. Things I haven't eaten in years or things I thought I didn't like. The downside of that: I will admit that Ihave on more than on ocassion eaten pork. Not sure what that's about. Hoping it will go away after Bumble is born.

Things I'm so so about:

The BELLY! On one hand, I LOVE my belly. It's round, it's big, it houses my baby. On the other hand, its big, it's round, it gets in my way. I can't bend over, I can't sleep on my stomach, my regular clothes don't fit, I can't reach essential places that are badly in need of being shaved and, I can't see my feet.

My boobs. My breasts have become these full, round things. Normally I would be happy for the added fullness but, these boobs aren't the boobies we've all come to know and love. My nipples are HUGE and BLACK and, I leak stuff. Kind of gross.


Things I don't like about being pregnant:

The hair growth. No one tells you about this. I won't go into detail but I have hair growing in places where women shouldn't grow hair yet, my legs don't grow much hair.

Bladder kicking. This seems to be a sport for Bumble. I can just read her thoughts: Hey, what's that? Mmmmm, let me kick it. That was fun. Let me jab it. Wow, let me use my little fingers and poke it. Hey, I can poke. Meanwhile, I'm literally going to the bathroom every 45 minutes or so and can barely make it there at night.

Maternity clothes. Polyester blends. Limited styles. No belts. No heels. Enough said.

The wait! Its been like a year already! When is this kid coming exactly?

So, 13 weeks to go. I can't wait.

Simultaneously Cool and Gross

This morning I was laying on my belly. I've perfected a way to do this with two body pillows and and lots of weight being balanced on my thighs. Well, this morning, the belly just wouldn't cooperate so, I had to settle for laying on my side. I felt Bumble move so, I rubbed my belly and felt this very hard lump. I pressed in and the lump moved. I realized instantly this was Bumble, ewwwwwwww and wow! Wow, I can feel Bumble by just pressing into my belly, ewwwwwwwww, I can feel Bumble by just pressing into my belly. It is the coolest and grossest thing. Like, amazing, I can feel my baby's head and arm and butt but ewwwwww, there's like a miniature person living inside of me. It's lovely and Alien all at the same time.

I went back for a second ultrasound the other day because Bumble is a stubborn baby and doesn't like to move around much when being examined. Still throughout this ultrasound, Bumble refused to move much. She literally showed her ass to the sonographer the entire time (she was transverse, upside down with her butt facing us). We were able to see the heart, 4 nice healthy chambers, the liver, kidneys and bladder. We were able to see her face (cute fat cheeks) fingers, which by far are the cutest fingers on the cutest hand in the world and, I even saw her blow bubbles. She got frustrated after a while and in typical Bumble fashion, began kicking the sonographer's probe so, we took a break in the middle so that she and I could both relax.

Gratuitous Bumble pics:

Alien Bumble (that's actually her cute little face)




Cute profile (I think she has my nose)

My cat is PSYCHIC

So, normally my cat basically ignores me unless I have a bag or can of food in my hand. Other times, he kind of looks at me from afar, will sit next to me if I'm at my computer desk, will try to sleep in my bed at night but this is all for his benefit, there's no REAL love for me.

Lately when I come home, he runs from where ever he is and starts meowing until I rub his head. He sits next to me when I'm on the couch, lays next to me when I'm in bed, gazes into my eyes and has this far away "I'm on crack" look to him. Whatever, he's a cat, right?

The other day, I got out of the shower and laid across my bed (I was tired from taking my shower, something that never happened pre-pregnancy) I'm laying across the bed and Bumble is jumping around, kicking, generally having a good time in my belly. Cat jumps on the bed and stares RIGHT at my lower tummy. He's staring and purring then, he snuggles up against my belly and starts rubbing his head on me. Okay, he's a cat, right? "Get out of here cat!", he jumps off the bed. I like him but I don't want him rubbing himself against my naked body, that just doesn't seem right.

Another day, I'm sitting on the couch watching Dr. Katz. Again, Bumble is jumping, kicking, doing whatever it is she does in there and Cat jumps on the couch and stares at my belly. He stares and he purrs. He gazes into my eyes and makes these little kitten noises, he then takes his head and rubs it against my belly. This time, since I was clothed, I let him do this. I start to think he knows something is up.

Another day, I'm laying in bed going to sleep. I just finished reading to Bumble and shes moving around, again, doing whatever she does in there. Again, Cat gets really close to me, comes to my belly and starts licking it. I let him because I'm trying to see what he sees or hears or understands. He puts his paw on my belly and starts licking my belly and purring. It was really sweet. That night, he tries to sleep right next to my belly but with all of the tossing and turning I tend to do, it was very difficult for him.

So, my cat is psychic, I SWEAR he knows the deal.

Stubborn Bumble

So the big day came, we got up bright and early for our very early appointment. We get to the hospital, sign in, I drink like an entire container of orange juice, wait like an hour and then we get ready to see our Bumble.

Obviously this kid has the sense of humor of both her mom and dad because she decided she would do nothing through the entire procedure. First of all, she was upside down, transverse, like she was crawling around in the sack. The sonographer, jiggled my belly, she kicked back in frustration. I probed my belly, she kicked back, at one point she both kicked and punch but, she wouldn't move, she wouldn't flip over. We got a good look at her heart and spine, a great look at her head and feet, but not much else. So, we have to go back in two weeks because Bumble just wouldn't cooperate.

Her she is in all her stubborn glory. Upside down, sleeping and not really wanting to be bothered.



Today however, she is all over the place. Our street is having a block party, I was out for a bit, barbecuing with my mom, listening to the forty different types of music everyone is playing and she is all over the place jumping, kicking, twirling. I bet you her little behind in right side up today.

So, in another two weeks maybe we'll get to see whats going on.